Over Summer I found myself taking a step back from social media… of course, I didn’t completely forgo my online life, but I found that posting to Instagram which use to be my favourite SM site becoming a bit of a chore. I was desperate to have a really cool Instagram layout that looked curated but still managed to be organic and authentic. I use to really enjoy taking photos, I use to think I was quite alright at it. People would compliment me on them it was something I really enjoyed. However, I soon found that I wasn’t happy with my photos like I was used too. I would ask myself what I was doing wrong, why I could no longer nail the flatlay or why I looked really daft in my outfit photos – I would look at other Instagrams and wondered how my photos looked so bland in comparison when I use to be so proud of my own work. Perhaps everyone else improved and I just stayed the same and it made me feel really crap.
Instead of posting a photo on my grid where I patiently waited to see how many likes I would get I found myself posting to Insta-stories instead where I felt like there is less pressure and photos that could be gone within 24 hours if I really wanted.
I stopped posting as regular but I desperately wanted to fall back in love with the process, but I began to scrutinize every photo I took. The background isn’t photogenic enough, my outfit isn’t cool, the colours aren’t right, the angle is wrong. It was exhausting.
It was just easier not to post anything at all. I’m going to be 28 years old this year, I’m old enough to know better than take everything I see online as a true representation of someone’s life and I should definitely know that I am not defined by the number of likes a photo I share gets.
I thought about giving up the whole social media lifestyle, but I know that wouldn’t be solving anything. If I’m not happy with my photographs I need to do something about it and when I love it I shouldn’t care how many people agree with me. I’m slowly trying to get back into the routine of taking photos regularly and posting them, there is still much hesitation on my behalf but these are my photographs, this is me and that should be enough.
For the first time in a while, I took my camera out and decided to find somewhere pretty to grab some outfit shots. This is a very typical outfit for me, it’s very unedited. I didn’t spend a lot of time planning it making sure everything was perfect. I just got dressed and went out.
When I looked through the photos afterwards, my first thought was “ahh the hoody was a bad idea” but you know I love this hoody, I bought it from H&M when I was in New York when I was feeling cold, it’s super cosy and perfect for this time of year when there is a bit of a chill in the air. It might not be the most flattering piece to photograph but it’s reality. I could have thrown on my fitted black denim jacket and looked more put together. Small steps.
For the past few months, I have been obsessed with light pink and hot red colour combination, I feel like the colours clash but in all the right ways. I often get compliments on the colour of my van’s t-shirt, it’s such an easy throw on top which looks cool but effortless. Pairing it with a redshirt number, I love to throw on a plaid shirt with pretty much any outfit but the bright pop of colour compliments the light pink so, so well.
I have worn this spotted skirt (similar) countless times not just in my blog photos but in real life, it is the staple of all staples, amazingly I bought it from Primark quite a few years ago for less than £10 and bless the old thing, it’s done me well.
7 out of 10 times that you will see me I will most definitely be in an ensemble if not exact to this then very similar.
Finally, my shoes… these are a bit special because when I was around 14/15 I was in Cardiff and my Dad took me shopping and I had my eyes on the checked vans and no joke I dragged my poor Dad round so many shops trying to find them and failed terribly. Which was weird because they were pretty popular at the time (actually maybe that wasn’t so weird.) Well, anyways I never got them and ever since they’ve been on my radar. My younger Sister scored major sister points when one day she came home with a pair for me. Making all my teenage checked dreams come true #blessed.
Van’s are definitely my favourite shoe brand, mainly because they are so bloody comfortable, and slip-on is my style of choice because I’m really lazy they’re so convenient.
Anyway, I hope you didn’t mind my little ramble at the beginning, sharing my thoughts on how disconnected I felt with Insta… I do feel like I have new found spring in my step and the little nagging over thinking analysist in me is starting to quieten down.
Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough or live up to the Instagram lifestyle?